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BREAKING: Centrelink worker allegedly caught being perceived at Dan Murphy's by a Yr 11 chem teacherJust in: Sydney man's flat white "giving NPC" after third barista asks if he wants oatDeveloping: Penrith council votes to officially recognise the chair pile in every Aussie bedroom as load-bearingLatest: Woolies self-checkout ratios customer in front of entire queueUpdate: Bloke in Bunnings carpark has simply "understood the assignment"BREAKING: Centrelink worker allegedly caught being perceived at Dan Murphy's by a Yr 11 chem teacherJust in: Sydney man's flat white "giving NPC" after third barista asks if he wants oatDeveloping: Penrith council votes to officially recognise the chair pile in every Aussie bedroom as load-bearingLatest: Woolies self-checkout ratios customer in front of entire queueUpdate: Bloke in Bunnings carpark has simply "understood the assignment"
J
The byline

Jed Carmichael

Brisbane, QLD

Jed Carmichael is Brainrot's Editor-at-Large and weekly columnist. A former regional-paper subeditor who quit when his masthead was bought by a property developer, Jed writes on the slow structural collapse of Australian weekend vibes, the Australian male's relationship with a low-mileage Camry, and the increasing unreadability of the "one quiet one". He is a composite character; his words are written by the Brainrot desk.