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BREAKING: Centrelink worker allegedly caught being perceived at Dan Murphy's by a Yr 11 chem teacher●Just in: Sydney man's flat white "giving NPC" after third barista asks if he wants oat●Developing: Penrith council votes to officially recognise the chair pile in every Aussie bedroom as load-bearing●Latest: Woolies self-checkout ratios customer in front of entire queue●Update: Bloke in Bunnings carpark has simply "understood the assignment"●BREAKING: Centrelink worker allegedly caught being perceived at Dan Murphy's by a Yr 11 chem teacher●Just in: Sydney man's flat white "giving NPC" after third barista asks if he wants oat●Developing: Penrith council votes to officially recognise the chair pile in every Aussie bedroom as load-bearing●Latest: Woolies self-checkout ratios customer in front of entire queue●Update: Bloke in Bunnings carpark has simply "understood the assignment"●
H
The byline

Hugh Carlile

Canberra, ACT

Hugh Carlile handles the desk's catch-all: the dispatch that doesn't fit a vertical but matters anyway. Press-gallery alumnus, novelist of two unpublished manuscripts. Composite; written by the desk.