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BREAKING: Centrelink worker allegedly caught being perceived at Dan Murphy's by a Yr 11 chem teacher●Just in: Sydney man's flat white "giving NPC" after third barista asks if he wants oat●Developing: Penrith council votes to officially recognise the chair pile in every Aussie bedroom as load-bearing●Latest: Woolies self-checkout ratios customer in front of entire queue●Update: Bloke in Bunnings carpark has simply "understood the assignment"●BREAKING: Centrelink worker allegedly caught being perceived at Dan Murphy's by a Yr 11 chem teacher●Just in: Sydney man's flat white "giving NPC" after third barista asks if he wants oat●Developing: Penrith council votes to officially recognise the chair pile in every Aussie bedroom as load-bearing●Latest: Woolies self-checkout ratios customer in front of entire queue●Update: Bloke in Bunnings carpark has simply "understood the assignment"●

DEVELOPINGCOOKED NATION · 14M AGO

“HonestlyI'mjustlockedin”:Brisbanemanannounces14thconsecutiveweekendindoors

Local 28-year-old Jarrod Henshaw has today confirmed to housemates, his ex, and a concerned mother in Toowoomba that he is in fact locked the fuck in.

By Briar McKenna

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